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Does
My Child Really Want Advice?
Sometimes we are ready to offer solutions to our children
before they're ready to receive them. In fact, many times
children share problems with us
because they want sympathy, not solutions. If you move into
a problem-solving mode too early, you will get resistance
from your child.
Try to
discern whether your child is ready to hear some possible
solutions. Asking permission is an excellent way to do that.
"Would you like an idea?" "Would you like to
hear how other people might solve that problem?" If you
launch into solutions before a child is ready, you will find
yourself getting frustrated at the child's lack of responsiveness
to
your suggestions. A simple question can open the door for
permission to offer solutions.
By the
way dads, you might also try this on your wife. Those who
are problem-solvers need to recognize that sometimes people
present a problem
just because they want to be cared for, not because they don't
have answers. Your wife or child may be fully capable of solving
the problem. But first she or he just wants a listening ear.
It's not
enough to have answers to people's problems. We also must
be sensitive enough to know what is needed in the situation.
Resist the
temptation to offer solutions until you sense your child is
ready to hear them.
This
idea was taken from the book, "Eight Secrets to Highly
Effective Parenting," by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne
Miller, RN, BSN at www.effectiveparenting.org
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