Talking to Kids About Heroes
Tips for Parents

One of life's great certainties is that somewhere in the course of your child's education at least one teacher will ask him to compose an essay about a favorite hero. It's a routine assignment, but these days concern about the effects of terrorism and the darker aspects of media culture have parents, educators, and even policy makers paying close attention to a child's need for inspiring role models.

Different Ages, Different Heroes

Researchers in moral development say children's heroes follow a fairly predictable pattern. Young children often choose their parents or teachers as heroes, because the immediate caretaker has the greatest moral authority. As children grow and begin to question their parents' influence, they choose peers as heroes -- often someone close to their own age who has "made it big" as a rock star or sports figure. Older teens admire people who have the ability to think for themselves. In adulthood, there is a new appreciation for family heroes, those who worked hard and sacrificed to help us get where we are today.

Talking to Kids About Heroes: Tips for Parents

Children see in heroes what they yearn to see in themselves: the ability to overcome weaknesses, fear, or insecurity, and be brave, courageous, and kind.

In our media culture, it's very easy for children to confuse celebrities with heroes. Parents need to help kids identify inspiring role models, without judging or condemning their choices. Here are some tips:

Talk about your own heroes. Who inspired you when you were a kid? Was it Hank Aaron, Anne Frank, or your third-grade teacher? Sharing your childhood heroes is a way of sharing your dreams, and revealing some of what you were like as a child. It's also a nice way to tell your son or daughter that it's great for them to have dreams of their own!

Don't pass judgment on your child's choice of a hero. You may prefer Rosa Parks to Britney Spears as your child's choice of a hero, but it isn't your choice to make. Better to emphasize the more positive attributes of the hero your child has chosen ("Britney has certainly worked very hard to become a good dancer.").

Give "high-fives" for heroics. Congratulate your child when you see her living out a value or using behavior that she associates with a particular hero ("Today in gymnastics you worked just as hard on that balance beam as Britney Spears worked on her moves when we saw her in concert." or "You showed a lot of courage, sticking up for your brother when he was being picked on. That's the kind of courage Dr. King showed when people he cared about were being badly treated.").

Source: life.familyeducation.com