Helping Children Develop Self Control

The preschooler who whines, the seven-year-old who talks incessantly, the ten-year-old who verbally jabs his brother, and the fourteen-year-old who can't get out of bed in the morning all have one thing in common. They need self-control. Self-control is the ability to limit behavior rather than give in to present desires. It means that you consider a later benefit more important than your present impulse.

One of the primary character qualities preschool children need to learn is self-control. Bed times, cleaning up messes, following instructions, and learning to not interrupt are just a few ways they begin to learn it. Self-control is an important character quality for anyone, adult or child. Most of us wish we could have more of it in our lives. Whether you're trying to have a daily quiet time, exercise regularly, or cut down on caffeine, self-control becomes a determining factor in your success. Self-control helps a person say no to temptation and choose the right course of behavior in difficult situations. It helps people take a stand for righteousness instead of getting sucked into doing something they shouldn't do. Self-control enables people to organize themselves and others, think before they act, save money and time, and make right choices even when unwise opportunities look attractive.

One dad explained self-control to his son this way, "It's irritating when you interrupt me while I'm talking. It's as if you poke me with your finger over and over again. I love you and I try to overlook it but I'm starting to get bruised. If you have self-control then you will give up the desire to just talk whenever you want so that instead you can love me and care for our relationship. That's what self-control means: choosing to stop yourself and be more sensitive to others."

Work on self-control with your children now and you'll give them a valuable character quality they'll be able to use for the rest of their lives.

For more on how to develop character in your kids, pick up the book, "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids."