Grandparents Raising Grandchildren:
Challenges, coping & support

Historically, parents and grandparents served as a family "team" supporting and nurturing the children. Over the last several decades the numbers of children being raised by grandparents, either solely, or part-time, has been on the increase.

Cause
When parents falter, nature has arranged it so children naturally fall into the laps of their grandparents. Caring for a grandchild may be temporary, for example when a parent is ill or in turmoil. It can also be permanent, as in the case of abandonment, abuse and neglect, death, substance abuse, or incarceration.

Challenges
The dramatic increase in the number of children who need to be rescued by their grandparents during the last several decades poses an important challenge for grandparents today. For many it involves making a life-changing decision to dedicate one’s life to raising a child at a time in life when one may be looking forward to more leisure and less responsibility. Raising a grandchild is a complicated matter. You will have to know about emotional, financial, health, legal and educational matters.

Some grandparents perceive taking on a parental role late in life as a blessing and are grateful for the opportunity to form a deeper bond with their grandchild. Other grandparents while enjoying its pleasures, still resent the responsibility and attendant inconveniences that are involved in raising a grandchild.

Many have to deal with their resentment toward the grandchild’s parents for thrusting the responsibility upon them. Others view the failure of the parent as their own failure and feel responsible and overwhelmed with guilt. Many other grandparents express concern about the fate of their grandchild if they die or become too ill to care for the child.

Naturally, the lives of grandparents undergo great change when their grandchild moves in with them. Instead of spending time with their friends, they become immersed in the social life and schoolwork of their grandchild. And it can be especially difficult when a grandparent has a grandchild with emotional or behavioral difficulties. Some complain about being tired and overworked and resent it. Others feel that raising a grandchild has given them new meaning which compensates for the fatigue they feel. So, if you are raising your grandchild, expect to have many different feelings. On the one hand you will have to sacrifice a certain amount of your freedom. On the other hand, you are saving your grandchild's life

Coping
Although grandparents raising a grandchild full-time recognize the life giving and energizing benefits of their position, they are also aware that the role can be time-consuming, fatiguing and often financially and emotionally burdensome.

Support for grandparents raising grandchildren is vital for successful caretaking. Studies show that grandparents who cope well with their situation are those who seek out other family members and support groups to help them deal with their concerns. Others use their strong spiritual beliefs to bolster them. It is important that grandparents take care of themselves physically, emotionally and spiritually to be effective caretakers of their grandchildren.

Support
Raising a grandchild can be challenging and yet highly rewarding. Indeed, what greater gift could a grandparent receive than the love and respect of their grandchild who appreciates the sacrifices their grandparents made so that they would grow to be happy, healthy people? The words of loving praise that these grandchildren have for their grandparents brings tears to the eyes of all who hear them and a glow to the hearts of the grandparents who deserve them.

If you are raising a grandchild, you have an added responsibility to educate others about what you are doing so you are supported and respected for your efforts. To this end make the effort to join together with other grandparents raising grandchildren and urge government agencies, the legal system, schools, insurance companies, social agencies, religious and other institutions to recognize the good you are doing and to help lighten your burden as much as possible. There are many resources and organizations available to help these situations. You will find that they have already done a great deal of work on your behalf. There is strength in numbers.

Resources
Florida Kinship Care Warmline: 1-800-640-6444
Florida Kinship Support Center
National Center on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
FirstGov.gov - Resource listing on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Excerpt from www.grandparenting.org