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THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING: A VEGGIETALES MOVIE
Reel Rating: 3 out of 5 Reels SYNOPSIS: In the VeggieTales world, fruits and veggies rock. And shop for groceries and drive cars and work at jobs they hate, as is the case in this movie. It stars a gourd, a grape and a cucumber, all of whom risk their limbless lives to battle pirates on the high seas and right the wrongs of the world. Only in VeggieTales can you find Rock Monsters, evil Cheese Curls, and a bunch of couch potatoes who need to step up and be brave. Sex/ Nudity: None. Violence/Gore: Mild comic peril. The heroes must deal with an evil pirate and a rock monster (a giant creature made out of rocks). But it’s all done in a gentle, preschool-friendly way. Profanity: None. Which Kids Will Like It? Preschoolers who are familiar with the VeggieTales characters, or who like colorful, musical movies. Will Parents Like It? Yeah, you’ll like it, in that there’s nothing inappropriate for preschoolers. But does it pass the snooze test? Nope. You’ll be napping after the first five minutes. Also, unlike other VeggieTales offerings, this movie doesn’t stress the “faith” part of the faith-based values equation. REVIEW: Working at the Pieces of Ate Dinner Theatre is less than exciting when you’re a busboy. For three moping misfits, it’s just a stop on the path to stardom. They dream of the day they can ditch the dishrags and take to the stage to star in the big pirate show. But here’s the deal. They’re not exactly motivated. Sedgewick (played by Mr. Lunt, who’s voiced by Phil Vischer) is a gourd who’d rather be home watching “The Love Boat” and eating cheese curls. Dragged along against his will, he eventually realizes that life is better when he interacts with other people, er, veggies…now and then. Elliot (played by Larry the Cucumber, who’s voiced by Mike Nawrocki) is afraid of just about everything. In fact, he even keeps a list – spiders, snakes and wicker furniture (yes, really), to name a few. He realizes that he must be brave when people he loves are in danger. George (played by Pa Grape, who’s voiced by Phil Vischer) just, basically, has no backbone. Always willing to let others take the lead, his pivotal moment comes when he stands up and says, “Even cabin boys can do what’s right!” The adventure begins when a mysterious ball drops from the sky and straight into the Veggies’ lives. It’s a “Helpseeker,” sent from the past in search of heroes, and it drags the friends back to the 17th century and into a sea of danger. The trio must face their fears to rescue a royal family -- Princess Eloise (voiced by Laura Gerow), Prince Alexander (voiced by Yuri Lowenthal), and The King (voiced by Cam Clarke) – from an evil tyrant, Robert the Terrible (voiced by Cam Clarke). While it’s no “Finding Nemo,” this colorful movie will appeal to preschoolers, who won’t even realize they’re learning valuable lessons about love and courage. Oh, and it’s also a musical! The characters break into song every now and then. VeggieTales has been around since 1993, and while not all that exciting for adults, it’s still tops when it come to innocent movies with a message for kids. JANE’S REEL RATING SYSTEM : One Reel: Pathetic. Even The Force can’t save it. Two Reels: Tolerable. Coulda been a contender. Three Reels: Something to talk about. Four Reels: You want the truth? Great flick! Five Reels: Wow! The stuff dreams are made of. Jane Louise Boursaw is a freelance journalist specializing in the movie and television industries. Visit her online at www.ReelLifeWithJane.com or email jboursaw@charter.net
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by Jane Louise Boursaw