A True Legacy

By Brenda Windberg Klettke

[From the NOV/DEC 2006 ParentGuide^® issue]

It’s a wonderful time of year to create a new legacy with our children—a legacy devoted to the common threads we share as human beings.

As a child in the Midwest, one of my favorite celebrations happened each year on December 6th. On the eve of this day—which local lore designated St. Nicholas’s birthday—my younger sister and I hung our stockings and put out a plate of homemade cookies, then woke to an abundance of little treats nearly three full weeks before Christmas proper. Instant gratification at its finest!

Of course, when the time came, I passed the tradition on to my daughters, who embraced it with great zeal. The ritual evolved into one of the highlights of our season, without question. At least until our move to Florida two years ago.

Suddenly, my daughters seemed to be the only children in our corner of the South who knew of the significance of December 6th. On the same balmy winter day I’d been out shopping for books and earrings and tiny packages of candy, my younger daughter came home from school confused. Abuzz with excitement, she’d bounded into the classroom and asked her friends if they’d hung their stockings. Their blank looks sent her back to me, completely bewildered as to how children in Florida ended up out of the loop.

As I thought about my answer, however, I realized something. When my family moved from Michigan to Wisconsin in 1975, St. Nick’s Day simply appeared in our lives, just one more feature of our new landscape. The origins of the celebration were German, I was pretty certain, but did the tradition come from my own family? No. Did it have strong spiritual or cultural significance? Not in my house. So why did we adopt it as our own? What was at the heart of that resonance?

Since moving to Florida, my daughters and I have had to opportunity to observe all kinds of religious and ethnic differences. Our dearest family friend is Jewish, and we now celebrate Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah and Passover with her. Each year, Muslim children at my daughter’s school observe Ramadan with sincere dedication. In addition to the satisfaction I feel for introducing my daughters to a world of cultural complexity, I also find myself more and more intrigued about rituals themselves—what they’re based on, whether there are common threads between the faiths, and why some speak to us more than others.

When we get right down to it, aren’t we all celebrating the same things: life, community, blessings from a loving creator? In each faith, there are times of sacrifice and times of indulgence; reflection is encouraged, charity is mandated and prayer is crucial. To quote Borgna Brunner of infoplease.com regarding the Islamic observance of Eid al-Fitr, the holiday which marks the end of Ramadan, Muslims “dress in their finest clothes, adorn their homes with lights and decorations, give treats to children, and enjoy visits with friends and family.” Sound familiar?

And if we push this line of thought far beyond simple holiday traditions, we might surprise ourselves with some life-changing revelations. According to National Geographic’s GENOGRAPHIC PROJECT, “the tree of human genetic diversity has, at its root, ‘Adam’—the common male ancestor of every living man.” Adam is said to have lived in Africa 60,000 years ago, right up until the great human migration began. Due to shifting land masses and reduced sea levels, our ancestors were able to walk from continent to continent, creating the diversity we know today.

The Web site is wonderful. In addition to offering a multitude of genetic and historical/geographical information, the site also offers the opportunity to “trace your own genetic journey,” complete with DNA analysis and a map specific to your biological makeup. Imagine what an incredibly instructional and personal lesson such a thing would be for your kids.

In his book, Abraham; a Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths, author Bruce Feiler says, “the effort to restore peaceful coexistence among the religions must begin in every neighborhood, in every home and in every heart.” Peace. Isn’t that what this season is all about?

Certainly makes a case for a new kind of legacy this year—exploring the human connection with your children. And at the heart of that adventure waits a revelation more valuable than any holiday gift. The understanding that we all started from the same place, that, despite our vast and sometimes unsettling differences, we have so much more in common than we’re able to admit is, potentially, the most critical and world-changing realization conceivable. Plant that seed in a young mind, and the possibilities are endlessly hopeful.

Happy Holidays!