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Moms and Friendships:
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| For more information, and to learn why it's so good for women to share their feelings and vent, see the MAY/JUN 2005 issue of the ParentGuide. |
If you ever needed friends, it's when you become a mom. Becoming a mommy is a job that never stops. No matter how wonderful the experience of motherhood, no one would argue that its consuming nature can leave a mom's life a little out of balance! Friends have a way of balancing the scales by providing the opportunity for a little bit of life without the baby. Even a long-distance friend can provide some "escape" through regular phone calls. Talking about books you're reading, new jokes or current events helps to maintain an adult perspective on living.
Many moms discover, however, that some long-time friendships experience a disjointedness after the birth of a baby. The realization of new limits on time, energy and attention is often the real source of contention between friends. Ask yourself, is it realistic to expect every one of your friends, whether they're a parent or not, to be the kind of friend you want in this time of transition? Probably not. Getting beyond the feeling of being let down by a friend requires an acceptance of each person's separateness and uniqueness.
Some friendships are meant to be transitory. Like families moving in and out of your neighborhood year after year. They get us through a particular stretch of road, and for that we can be grateful.
Friendships of the heart are committed friends and don't flicker and fade. They are there for the duration. There's nothing like having a long-lasting pal, someone who knows us better than we know ourselves. How to make--and keep--friends of the heart when you're barely surviving life with a newborn is a task that takes effort.
Are friendships of the heart more important than fleeting friends of the road? Not really. We need both. What matters is how a relationship sustains you right now. An achieved friendship--of any brand or bond--is among the best experiences life has to offer.
Today's moms have access to "online" friends for expressing their parenting concerns or seeking help from others with children the same age. There are numerous online bulletin boards, forums and blogs for moms. The ParentGuide has launched a new blog, ParentForum--Your Community, Your Family, Your Voice for the parents of Tampa Bay to share information and seek ideas from others in their own community. Do you know of a smalltown hero making a difference for families in our community? Where are the best family-friendly restaurants? What are some fun activities that the Tampa Bay area has to offer for families? Do you have a helpful parenting tip to share?
Share your parenting comments on ParentForum! You might just help someone else get through their day by knowing that there are others out there in our community with the same concerns!
Source: "If You Ever Needed Friends, It's Now", by Leslie Parrott, a MOPS book.
