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MAGAZINE
CUSTOMER
SERVICE CENTER
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Conflict
Resolution for Families
Communication is the Key
No
matter what our age, we have all experienced conflicts. They
are a natural part of life and families are no exception.
Traditionally, people in conflict have reacted in a fight
or flight way, avoiding or attacking conflict. Conflict resolution
strategies allow us to resolve conflict in a way where everyone
wins. In addition, when children use conflict resolution strategies
to work out their problems, they are learning the lifelong
skills of communication and problem solving.
The key
to resolving conflicts in a win-win manner is good communication.
Conflicts are often just misunderstandings that could be avoided
with active listening and the use of I statements.
Help
your child build communication skills by practicing these
active listening steps:
-
Maintain
good eye contact
-
Concentrate
on what is being said
-
Avoid
interrupting the speaker
-
Ask
appropriate questions
-
Summarize
what was said
I statements
are a respectful and effective way to communicate during
a conflict by allowing the speaker to be assertive and responsible
for his/her actions. There are four simple steps to the
I statement:
For
example: "Tim, I feel frustrated when you leave
dirty dishes in the sink. I would like you to put them in
the dishwasher." It is important to avoid words
such as always, never, every time, and all the time since
they imply blame and may put the listener on the defensive.
By being
good models and teaching children how to effectively communicate,
we'll create peaceful homes where conflicts are solved in
a calm and dignified way.
About
the Author: Jan Urbanski is a Prevention Specialist for
Safe and Drug Free Schools with the Pinellas County School
System.
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