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 Got
a Toddler in the House? It's Time to Set Boundaries
Do you
have crayon marks on your walls? Are all the pots removed
from your cabinets and placed on your kitchen floor? Do you
have dried applesauce stuck to your kitchen counters? If you
answered yes, you probably have a toddler living with you.
Where
did your cute, sweet smelling bundle of joy go? Believe it
or not, she is still there, just bigger, faster and learning
more about herself and the environment daily. In order for
you and the rest of your family to survive this rapid period
of growth and development, there is one golden rule to follow.
Set boundaries and be consistent!
Screaming
for Toys
A boundary will define and shape a desired behavior. Here's
an example of a boundary. You are running a quick errand at
Walmart. Your child wants the latest, greatest toy. She sees
the toy and you do not have the money and/or time to purchase
it. When you tell you toddler "no," a full-blown
tantrum begins…screaming, crying, kicking. What should
you do? The easiest thing is to get the toy and go! However,
by purchasing the toy, you reinforce your child's behavior.
She has learned that crying, kicking and screaming results
in a toy purchase.
A better
choice…set a boundary. If your toddler is able to listen,
you may explain to her why you are purchasing the toy. If
she is not able to listen, removing her from the area is your
best option. You may have to make your errand at another time,
or you may be able to relocate to a different area of the
store. Even though it may cause temporary inconvenience, you
have just taught your child a valuable lesson. A negative
behavior does not result in positive outcome.
Hugs
& Praises
The next time you visit Walmart and your child asks for a
toy…be consistent! Set the same boundary. If your child
responds without crying, provide lots of positive reinforcement.
This does not mean purchase the toy. Praise, kisses and hugs
go a long way! Telling your child how proud you are of her
will raise her self-esteem and promote positive behavior in
the future.
Setting
boundaries can be applied to many other areas of development,
such as bedtime, food choices and peer interactions. Setting
boundaries will make the toddler stage much more tolerable!
This
article is provided by Susan Brindise a prediatric occupational
therapist in Tampa Bay. More of her articles coming soon on
helping your child feel safe, what to teach a one-year old,
and why sleep is so important. Email her at susanbrindise@msn.com.
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