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Taking
a Break vs. a Time Out
Turning
Whining Into a Positive Attitude
When you begin to see a bad attitude or hear that manipulative
whining voice, require your child to “Take a Break.”
With young children, as young as two or three years old, have
them sit in a particular place, a chair, a carpet square,
the hallway, or a bottom step. For older children you might
send them to their room or to the parent's room or to another
quiet place.
We
believe that “Taking a Break” is much better than
“Time Out.” The instructions given are simple
and clear. "You need to go “Take a break. Come
back and see me when you're ready to talk about this."
Two differences are important. The child knows that the objective
in Taking a Break is a changed heart and the child also helps
determine the length of time spent in the break place, coming
back only when ready for a debriefing.
These
two differences between Time Out and Taking a Break change
the posture of the parent. With Time Out, the parent is the
policeman, keeping the child in the chair until the sentence
for misbehavior has been served. With Taking a Break, the
parent is eagerly waiting for the child to return
so that positive family life can continue.
Taking
a Break helps parents address heart issues with children and
can become a primary discipline technique. It actually comes
from the Bible in the teaching of discipline in God's family,
the church (Matthew 18, 1 Corinthians 5, and 2 Corinthians
2). The idea is basically this: If you can't abide by the
principles that make this family work, then you can't enjoy
the benefits of family life. The two go hand in hand.
For
more information about how to implement the idea of Taking
a Break, see chapter on the four steps of correcting children
in the book, "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration
for Character in You and Your Kids," by Dr. Scott Turansky
and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. www.effectiveparenting.org
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