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Parenting
Tips: When You Don't Like Your Child
This Mom
grew to dislike her 8-year-old.
"I
am so tired of the constant bad attitude and talking back.
He just won't listen to me. I hate to say it but I'm feeling
like I don't like him at times."
When parents
feel negative emotions toward their kids it's time for a different
approach. These feelings often come because of the constant
frustrating interaction between parent and child. The continual
need for correction and then the ungrateful resistance from
children often puts parents on edge.
Correction
is important and so prayer and perseverance in these moments
are essential. But parents need more than that. Adding a proactive
approach is often just what's needed. Adding teaching and
training to the child rearing process gets kids doing some
good things and helps them add energy back into family life.
One mom
had her five-year-old son stop three times a day to do three
kind things for others. At first he was resistant but she
made it fun and he became creative with the project. A dad
set up a plan with his fifteen-year-old daughter so that in
exchange for trips to the mall she would look for ways to
encourage mom instead of fight with her. He was just trying
to teach her that a family is a two-way street.
Children
need a plan for doing what's right, not just correction for
doing something wrong. These may seem obvious when you think
about it but it can be a challenge to get a plan working at
times. Parents are often motivated by their frustration and
respond with correction only. Developing a proactive approach
as well can make all the difference. It's amazing how a parent's
attitude toward the child changes when both parent and child
are working together in a positive direction.
If
you would like personalized parenting help, why not sign up
for a Phone Coaching Session with Dr. Scott Turansky.
Find out more at www.effectiveparenting.org.
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