Corporal Punishment or Mismanaged Anger?

Controversy continues over the appropriateness of corporal punishment. While one school of thought is that severe physical punishment is good for the soul, another school of thought stresses the inappropriateness of physical punishment. Then again, both school settings and home settings need to reassess the concept of physical punishment.

In the past fathers had free reign on how to apply discipline to a wayward child. Severe and even fatal beatings were often inflicted if the child displayed offensive behavior. As civilization evolved however, concern arose for the effect of trauma or physical harm that a child may be exposed to by mal-intended adults when physical punishment is carried too far.

When is Punishment Appropriate?
So, what is a parent to do when a child misbehaves? Time out, grounding and lost privileges are the more accepted means of discipline by most child psychologists. So, does this mean a parent has no possibility of applying a slap, tap, spanking or physical punishment of any kind? Not necessarily, but what is important, is under what conditions it occurs. If a parent or any adult resorts to physical punishment as an impulsive reaction to something the child said or did, it is wrong. If physical scars or bruises result, it is inappropriate. Or, if physical punishment is used to vent a day of frustration in the workplace without rational thought, then the child is exposed to needless harm or serious injury. In its extreme, this could constitute child abuse.

So, the next time your child misbehaves or violates a house rule to the point of needing punishment, it is imperative that you stop and think before taking action. Ask yourself, are you truly punishing the child with appropriate penalties? Or are you simply venting your anger onto a helpless bystander? The courts are filled with cases of misdirected or exaggerated punishments that resulted in serious injuries to the child. So, be sure to check the rational before using corporal punishment.

Corporal Punishment in Schools
Yes, it is true that even some school systems endorse the practice of physical punishment for students who misbehave. But, what parents may not understand is that the severity and appropriateness of applied physical punishment are often at the digression of an adult who may or may not be using such punishment appropriately. Check your child's school policy for use of corporal punishment, and do not assume that all school personnel will apply it a fair and non-harmful manner. Regardless, if the execution of corporal punishment is by a parent, caretaker or educator, the following anger management techniques may help.

Anger Management Tips

1. If you come home from work too frustrated to deal with home issues immediately upon arriving home, then take ten minutes to jog around the block before attempting to meet family member needs.

2. Remember to change your routine at home. A little creativity could result in a picnic dinner at the beach, a walk in the park for all family members, or a picnic in the yard to break family stressors.

3. Try trading off children one evening with another family so that adults and children have a chance to interact with same age peers one or two nights a week rather than all getting bored with the same routine.

4. If you have a more serious problem with anger management, then try a class at a community college or local counseling groups.

5. Also, Assertiveness Training groups can help minimize anger problems by teaching the correct way to assert self in the workplace so excess stress does not build up over otherwise trivial problems that could be resolved with good communication skills.

6. Oh yes, don't forget to check your child's school policy for handling discipline problems.

Remember, if anger or violence is your first manner of problem solving; do not hide that tendency under the false mask of corporal punishment. Enhanced communication skills can help as well as allow you to set a positive example for your child to follow.

May your days be harmonious and may your children grow into effective communicators…of course as learned by your role model. "Remember, violence begets violence." But, "Healthy communications enhance family life."