Children's Fear of War

Children have a way of absorbing what is going on in the media in many different ways. Although an adult may believe the last news report was not frightening, children may think otherwise. Children can interpret the same event in many different ways.

Fear of the Unknown
One essential element that frightens everyone is a lack of control of a foreign situation and a fear of the unknown. First to assure some sense of control, it is important to a initiate some task related to helping our soldiers.

You can consider sending letters, or finding military families to sponsor by making gifts for the children, or providing the lone military parent with extra services such as coupons to McDonalds for a night off of cooking.

Older children or adolescents may be capable of conducting a review of historical wars in the past that have similar causes, thus they can contrast and compare issues and outcomes. Also, it may be helpful to review the geography of the war, and initiate a learning session where all family members participate in identifying war-related territories or planes used or training requirements of the soldiers. Most of this information can be obtained on the Internet. (See related educational links provided on www.parentguide.com.) This will help minimize fear of the unknown.

Feeling in Control
It also may be helpful to discuss the political pros and cons of the war, so that a child or adolescent may be able to develop a personal point of view on the matter. All this information sharing is helpful in two important ways:

" First, it gives them a task to do, thus they feel more in control.
" Second, it allows them to put meaning to the war if the issues are discussed in a rational manner rather than simply focus on the impact of bombing and potential threats to American civilians.

Screen News Reports
Of course, last but not least, is to screen television viewing of news reports and bombing of cities when children are in the room. Monitor adult conversations in front of children as well.

Family Discussion
Most importantly, all family members get to discuss concerns in an information sharing atmosphere, that does not have to project gloom and doom. If any child is overly upset or anxious including dreaming or nightmares about the war, then by all means seek professional intervention as to why the issues are disproportionately worrisome to the child.

The main point is, that families must draw strength from all family members and always remember to be proud to be an American. May we all come to know world peace without loss.

Dr. Felicia the ParentCoach
F. Felicia Ferrara, Ph.D.
Psychology Services
The Consultation and Evaluation Center
813-259-0303