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Discipline Solutions
Building Good Correction Routines
Some problems
that children face are more difficult than others. The child who
is annoying, who habitually teases, or who is explosively angry
are just a few examples. Out of frustration, some parents think
that the child needs bigger and bigger consequences. They believe
that the bigger the consequence, the faster the change.
Remember that the goal is a changed heart, not just punishment for
wrongdoing. A larger consequence may be needed to get the child's
attention but the real work takes place by helping children adjust
the way they think and the patterns of behavior that have developed
over time. Often many small corrections are more effective than
one large consequence.
Mature
people will feel an internal pain when they discover that they've
made a mistake or done the wrong thing. This is normal and healthy.
Your child may not experience that same inner sense yet. Consequences
create a kind of pain for children. This pain can motivate right
behavior and get them moving in the right direction.
One
example of this is the parent who decided to take away the privilege
of riding a bike from her nine-year-old son. She said, "Son, I'm
not just taking the bike away for a day. I'm taking the bike away
until I see some progress in the way you're treating me when I call
you in for dinner. We'll try to see how you do for two days and
if I see a good response then you can play with your bike again."
Mom turned the discipline around so that the child had to earn back
the privilege. She wanted to see several positive change points
before she gave the privilege back.
Kids
often need a multi-faceted approach to help them change. Teaching
about sensitivity, self-control, respect or another quality will
also go a long way to help children change their minds and thus
free them to change their hearts as well.
Source:
www.effectiveparenting.org
For more on how to build a good Correction Routine with your children,
read the book, "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character
in You and Your Kids."
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